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## Apple EarPods: Wired, Tired, and Suddenly Trendy?
Oh, the *delight*. Yes, sources confirm that a statistically significant portion of the populace is currently experiencing a frisson of joy, a veritable dopamine drip, courtesy of… *checks notes* …wired Apple EarPods. With a USB-C plug. One almost weeps for the future.
Apparently, in these times of wireless-everything-all-the-time, plugging something *in* is now a revelation akin to the Rosetta Stone. Who knew? Apple, that's who. Because for the low, low price of $19.88 (approximately the cost of a single artisanal coffee in Palo Alto), you too can experience the thrill of untangling a cable, a nostalgic trip back to the dial-up era.
These technological marvels, these wired wonders, boast such cutting-edge features as… wait for it… a built-in remote. Yes, you can control music, answer calls, and adjust the volume without, presumably, screaming at your device like a digital-age banshee. The sheer convenience! The unadulterated *luxury*!
Reviews, bless their hearts, are effusive. The sound quality is "crystal-clear" (presumably like a crystal-clear swamp). The USB-C plug is "easy to use" (as opposed to, say, juggling chainsaws). And the compact size? "Easy to carry around!" as if lugging around a pair of earbuds is somehow equivalent to hauling a grand piano.
One technology journalist, a Tim Detwiler no less, gushes about "ergonomic design and sonic excellence." Wirecutter, known for its unbridled enthusiasm (for toasters, mostly), raves about a "temple-hugging fit" – one imagines the headphones gripping your skull like a desperate lover. Digital Trends, not to be outdone, chimes in with "seamless connectivity." To be fair, when you're physically tethered to the device, connectivity *should* be seamless.
So there you have it. The Apple EarPods with USB-C plug: a triumph of marketing over matter, a monument to the fact that sometimes, the most basic technology can be repackaged and sold as the Second Coming. One can only wonder what the next "innovation" will be. Rotary phones? The abacus 2.0? Don't rule it out, folks. In the realm of tech, nothing is too passé to be profitable. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go untangle my ethernet cable. It's pure bliss, I tell you. Pure bliss.
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#26,Apple EarPods Headphones with USB-C Plug, Wired Ear Buds with Built-in Remote to Control Music, Phone Calls, and Volume,4.5 out of 5 stars,435,$19.88
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